BobDylan

Unfortunately, Bumble removed the requirement that women message men first. That happened about a year or so ago, because they found the majority of their female customers weren't interested in doing so, so they made the change to save their revenues and membership numbers, tho their stock price still suffered from this problem. I find your strong and honest feminism refreshing, tho I find that sort of thing rare among the single women my age where I live. Probably because I live in a red state in a very traditional-minded, conservative region, the midwestern US. Glad you're raising your sons in a progressive way that encourages them to be open-minded. I see so much misogyny and misandry, on the part of the respective genders, both where I live and online in social discussion forums. Also glad that you were pro active and independent about your online dating habits, by approaching men first, rather than the conventional norm for women of waiting for men to message or approach them first on dating sites, as that method seems to almost always result in the women only getting interest from scammers, players, and men who are incompatible, etc. Why not act like we men have had to do since before I was born, namely choosing who we want or feel compatible with, and making the approach ourselves, knowing that we will usually be rejected? But at least when we aren't rejected, we make a connection with someone we want, rather than just settling for someone we don't really want, just because they approached us first. It feels like a parallel, at least for me, to voting. Why keep voting for the lesser evil, esp., in primary elections, instead of voting our hopes and true choices, so at least we are voting for something or someone we believe in or truly want? I have little respect for either group, singles who choose to wait on being approached by the other gender, or voters who keep voting for lesser evil candidates,

I can believe the validity of the stat, but at the same time I can also understand how the % of even men my age, who are single, is probably way lower than it was decades ago. Things have changed greatly in the landscape of the dating game, since the previous century. Women have also greatly changed in their attitudes and behavior towards men in the dating game. I would also be interested in the specifics of what circumstances are being studied in the research that was cited. Are they talking about young men cold approaching women in public, or does the stat cover also circumstances such as online dating or asking a woman out on a date where they are both already in proximity or contact, such as sharing a workplace or attending the same school, etc. ? I can tell you that nowadays almost no men do cold approaches anymore to women, at any age, in public with strangers, unless it's a bar environment or a dance club. Because outside of those situations the inhibitions are too great for the men and also the assumption is that most women want to be left alone and not hit on by stranger men at these other public situations. I recently saw an amusing and thought provoking comment on reddit, that said that if women run across a man they find attractive and interesting, in a romantic way, they should " put on their big girl pants and go talk to him, adopting the spirit of their grandmother or great grandmother, who would drop a handkerchief to get the man's attention. Like they did back then, when the sexes would go thru their accepted, elaborate rituals of courting and dating etiquette". Of course, I can tell you from experience, that almost no women will ever follow that advice, because they both know from talking to men who tell them that rarely do cold approaches work for men, at least the average looking ones, and also that they have no intention of experiencing the rejection and embarrassment that men encounter with doing cold approaches. And yet, I challenge anyone to prove me wrong that almost all men would at least be flattered and respond positively and appropriately to being cold approached by women, after recovering from the initial shock, even if they were not reciprocally interested in dating the woman.. One thing is certain, a society in which a large % of young men are asexual and socially isolated or alienated from women, is not a good thing for said society, same as the whole incel culture these days. It only corrodes our society..

No surprise. It's THE LYIN' KING distracting from the Epstein files releases this week..

MLK was right in saying things were going in the right direction, but since the 1970s, things have been getting worse, and many of the advances in social progress have been reversed, due to reactionary politics, but also due to the oligarchs and corporations taking and gaining much greater power than they had back in MLK's time. The globalization of the world's economy has been one factor, another is the multinational corporations taking complete control of the Dem Party, which left unions and workers with no competing or balancing power to the Repub Party. And since Americans and their electoral system are so resistant to using third parties to advance political goals, we have been stuck in a one way class war for the last several decades, where only the rich and corporations are fighting it, and the rest of us are left defenseless and nobody advancing our cause, at least no one with any real power in the fed govt.. Believe it or not, I've not given up, even tho I have little hope left these days. But most Americans do seem to have given up, whether it's about democracy, or about the system ever working fairly or for them again, and as long as that's the case, we are not going to ever get out of this hole. I think it's going to take a charismatic, progressive leader, who can somehow avoid being assassinated like so many were in the 60s, and I just don't see that happening soon enough to save us. Nor do I see the American people rising up and overthrowing the corrupt regime, like they recently did in Bulgaria. We seem to have lost our solidarity and revolutionary spirit too much to ever do that..

I think we all know the answer is the latter one, that not only would the Watergate story, nor the Pentagon Papers being published, ever happen. And even if they did, the Repub Party would never agree to impeach a president of their own party, as they were ready to do to Nixon, before he resigned in disgrace. Bottom line is, things have changed greatly since the 1970s, and mostly for the worse, when it comes to power and accountability for the rich and powerful.. Another thing, in the 1970s, most of the large newspapers were family-owned, and much more ethical and accountable to their readers, compared to now..

You nailed the essence of it, mac. We are all human, but not all of us are humane....

Call me cynical, but some people are just plain selfish and wicked, so that even if we had a socialist utopia, like I would prefer we have, there would still be a need for laws, cops and government, esp. government.... The opposite of my desired utopia, is some sort of post apocalyptic world, like the Walking Dead, universe, where everything is chaos and everything is about the strongest and most ruthless having all the power and being completely free to prey on the weaker people who are still left.. I would frankly rather be dead, than going on and trying to survive and suffer in such a world..

The right wing co-worker is a 🍆, who thinks like an idiot, but you already knew that... Most of us never need welfare programs and many of us never live long enough to collect Social Security, but both programs are necessary, because they make for a more humane and secure society, which benefits us all. But you can never get a conservative to accept that, because they are all about selfishness, immaturity, and greed...

I'll split the difference with you, mac. I ended up owning a home, a condo apt., most I ever wanted. But never wanted to be a parent and so I ended up childfree.. Even as a childfree adult, I have always supported having good and safe schools for everyone's kids, simply because they all deserve it and in the end it benefits all of us, including those without kids, by promoting higher property values and producing better citizens...

The link doesn't seem to go to the story you are referencing, Lindy..

Whether Repubs and conservatives still have a soul or not, may be debateable. What seems to be indisputeable tho, is that they have zero empathy for anyone different from them, who is not a member of their tribe, while on the other hand, liberals will gladly extend all the same rights and privileges to them that we have, because we believe in equal rights and fair treatment for all. Their base attitude is that only white people who share their religion, politics, and sexual orientation/identity, deserve the same rights and privileges as them.. In other words, they lack a spirit of generosity and fairness that we have.. And they also don't really believe in democracy for all, but in a hierachical system where their group has all or most of the power, permanently...

Great episode of TTZ, "Will The Real Martian Please Stand Up?".

Unless it's like that Twilight Zone episode " To Serve Man", lol....

Maybe the superior intelligence of aliens will intervene and save us?

You and me, Peter. I'm not holding my breath that the midterms will actually happen, or that they will be free and fair. And even if the Dems win back the House, as I think they will, as I said elsewhere, they won't get the Senate. So all they will have is the ability to hold oversight hearings and investigate things in the House, with subpeona power. But there is no certainty that anyone from the THE LYIN' KING administration would show up if they subpeana them, because they would suffer no penalty for not showing up. To prosecute them for contempt of congress, for not showing up, the DOJ would have to do that, and it's not going to happen under this administration.. As Jeff Goldblum said in the movie Independence Day, they've got us in checkmate, for at least the next few years..

And people wonder why I've been so struggling with depression for the last year...... and the accompanying frustration of dealing with people who either have been tuning out all of the news about the process of fascism being implemented here in America, or, who have been following it, but still blindly believing that voting blue no matter who, will somehow save us. I can't decide which group is more insufferable or infuriating to deal with... And the funny, paradoxical thing is, cynic as I am about politics and the American economic system, I somehow still have a fair amount of hope about personal relationships and even romance, despite a fair amount of my own disappointment and bad experiences with some friendships and lots of dating relationships with women outside of my one wife. And I think the reason for that, is because at least in personal, voluntary relationships, there is usually not the extreme power imbalances that we see in the societal level things like politics and economics. Things are a lot more fair, when you're talking about simply two people who both have free will and relatively equal power to choose what and who they will accept in a relationship, and who negotiate said relationship between themselves, rather than thru large organizations in the societal agreements and arrangements about how we run things and treat each other as Americans.. It seems much easier to have hope and faith in two people being able to be fair, honest, and able to agree on things mutually and fairly, than societies of people being manipulated with mass media, propaganda, governments and money....

Not me, not the least bit. They are doing exactly what I expected, becahuse they know the Dems in congress, as well as the Epstein victims, have no power whatsover, in the congress, or the courts, to bring any consequences to the DOJ or FBI, for this coverup. We are witnessing the clear and convincing proof that the THE LYIN' KING administration is totally lawless and unaccountable for anything they do. Expect more of the same, until at least the next elected congress, assuming we even have midterm elections and that they are not rigged for the Repubs. But even with that, the Dems are not going to retake the Senate, so all they will be able to do is block the Repubs from passing anything then, and if THE LYIN' KING or Vance keep using executive orders, instead of passing congressional bills, all the House Dems would really be able to do in 2027, would be to hold oversight and investigative hearings, with subpena power, to expose the crimes of the administration, etc. Still, even with that, they would have no power to punish the Repubs for their crimes, only to make them look bad and hope to retake the Senate and WH in 2028. Finally, I fully expect that even if the House Dems have the majority after the midterms, the THE LYIN' KING or Vance admin. officials will simply ignore the subpeonas and refuse to show up for the hearings, and would likely never be prosecuted or punished for contempt of congress violations for not appearing at the hearings. Because the DOJ would refuse to prosecute them. The rule of law is now gone, for at least the next couple years, if not longer, with our fed govt... Frankly, I have little hope that we will survive what's coming between now and then, as far as further domestic fascism, and even if THE LYIN' KING is gone next year, the people behind him will continue their agenda, against his political opponents and dissenters like us. It's not going to stop just with grabbing up and deporting brown people.. Sorry to say it, folks, but I knew we were screwed, short of a mass rebellion against THE LYIN' KING, with tens of millions in the streets every day, and staying there, forcing the military and cops to take sides with us, etc., none of which ever happened, as soon as THE LYIN' KING won the trifecta in Nov. 2024, of both houses of congress and the WH... At this stage, the only thing that would save us, is a military coup against THE LYIN' KING and Vance, which ain't gonna happen... Merry freaking X-mas and a happy NY, my fellow heretics!....

I like you anyway, mac, lol..

I'd suggest doing more interviews with other members, maybe early next year, when you have the time. It might stimulate more response on the forums from other members, if they relate to the interview content or identify with the members who are sharing about themselves. I don't even have close to a hundred FB friends, but like you say, V., there are very few posts each day from my FB friends, and I rarely post anything personal about myself, instead mainly sharing political posts, because I really don't want many people knowing my personal business. Tho I have shared some of my struggles on here, because I guess it feels cathartic to do so, and because we all have some degree of anonymity here, with the usernames and all... I guess the true sign of when we have achieved some degree of community on here, is when members are able to feel free sharing honestly and openly about their personal lives, and in turn receive honest and supportive feedback from others, on the forums, instead of only thru messaging..

I think you'll see the same thing with LHC profiles, people not completing them until the already see someone of the opposite sex already with one in their state, and in their age group as well. The sad fact is, most people coming to check out the site will only stay and participate if they see or feel they will soon see, local dating options for them. In the meantime, only a small minority will stay for the online community here, much less actively participate in the forums. Folks like you and me are not a common breed. Most people are instead just focused on their busy offline lives or on finding someone to date, etc.., rather than online forums or making new friends online, etc..

I'm pretty confident that all of the members here are real people, even if we likely will never meet any of them in person...

Good ?. scary. I think ads there would probably boost the membership here..

I do agree that if Lennon had ended up living in the UK, instead of NYC, he might very well never have been murdered, but we'll never know...

My state, Iowa, scores an F, what a non surprise. But why should it be? We also lead the nation in cancer rates, worst water quality, worst economy (as far as economic growth), and our current governor is the least popular governor in the country. No wonder all my fellow libs here call us Mississippi North... I can only imagine how Iowa stacks up against those other countries you mentioned, on gun control..

I've gotten to where I just don't know what to think anymore, as far as America's gun fetish and how or if we will ever make any progress against our country's epidemic of mass shootings. But I do know that I appreciate and agree with both of your perspectives here. After THE LYIN' KING got elected, I too was planning to buy a handgun and learn to shoot for the first time in my life, as part of expected self defense against the MAGAs, who I still think will eventually be acting as paramilitary groups, same as ICE is now, only they would be hunting anyone opposed to MAGA, not just brown people. Anyway, I didn't buy that gun, not because I don't think it's eventually going to come to what I've been dreading, as far as MAGAs in packs coming to hunt us, but because I realized that arming myself wouldn't really prevent them from killing me,, and the the satisfaction of being able to fight back and maybe being able to take out a couple of them in the process, was not worth the risk I was also developing that I might also succumb to my worsening depression and use it on myself sometime. So no gun for me, and I'm just hanging in there, trying to have some hope that we somehow get thru this nightmare, while in the meantime stick as close as possible with my local offline friends and enjoy what I can in my personal life. To me, an armed society and religion are much alike. People acting falsely and more ethically and fairly towards others, only out of coercion that if they don't they will suffer, either in this life or some imagined afterlife. Makes me proud to be non religious, so I act morally and ethically because I want to, not because I need to for approval from other church members. And glad I can still have many places where I don't have to deal with armed assholes ready to blow me away, if I say something that pisses them off. That's what makes for a free society, not the Old West stuff of having to shoot it out every time there's a disagreement. And from what I've read. there was actually more gun control than people think in the Old West, at least as far as in the towns there, where people did have to turn in their guns when they came into town, etc.. As far as the Beatles song, the irony of it has always haunted me after Lennon's murder, which was two days after my birthday, in 1980. If only John had known how his life would end that way, even tho he reportedly was afraid for some time before his death, that he would be assassinated, either by the govt. or by one of his crazed fans..